I have been single now for a little over a year 📆, and this is has proven to be the most important and best time in my life. 🎉My ex was the love of my life, or so I thought. 👫There was never going to be another like him; no one as smart as him, as considerate as him, as thoughtful as him, or as funny as him. 👰🏽We liked nearly all the same things, such as music, movies, books, friends, etc. 💑We clicked instantly. We had similar upbringings, and similar views on life, once again... or so I thought. 🙎🏽I sacrificed time with myself, with my family, with my friends, with my career, and with my pre-established personal goals. 🙍🏽I spent all my time and energy on this relationship, and I was utterly exhausted. 🛌🤕I could not figure out what I was doing wrong, or what I could possibly do differently.😰
Truth is, it didn't matter if it was him or some other guy who made me feel more special than the last: I did not love myself enough to make a healthy relationship work. 👎🏽I also did not trust God enough. I did not trust God to bring me the man that He wanted for my life in a reasonable amount of time-as in, before the age of 45. ⏱👀 So I was willing to go to the ends of the Earth (e.g. NYC streets, self-help books, online relationship blogs, therapists, YOU NAME IT! 😂) for the one whom I thought was meant to be mine.
Well... It. Does. Not. Work.! 🤦🏽♀️I've tried everything, including:
1. Rushing into a relationship, and it did not work;🏃🏾♀️
2. Forcing a relationship long after it was no longer working, and it did not work;👩🏽✈️
3. Giving relationships second and third chances when they did not deserve one, and this did not work;👩🏽🔧
4. Dating men who weren't exactly up to speed with where I was in life at the time, and it did not work;👩🏽🏫
5. Dating men who triggered many, many red flags in trying to be an optimist, and it did not work;👩🏽🔬
6. Going along with things in a relationship that I did not agree with or want to participate in, and it did not work; and lastly,👩🏽🌾
7. Staying in relationships that not only did not make me happy but cost me my peace and joy big time. Guess what? It did not work.👩🏽🚀
So my message is this: ☝🏽
Ladies, please spend as much time necessary figuring out who you are, 👩🏽🏫 what makes you tick 😡, and loving that person with all of her emotions, eccentricities, flaws, and virtue 😍. Do not change yourself to attract and then keep a man. The only way for you to find the person who is best for you is to show them exactly who you are, and let them choose for themselves. 🙋🏽Let him come to you. How could you possibly miss out on someone you don't even know or haven't met yet? 👀
Go forth in this life being OK with being alone, and having a self-fulfilling life. Go to church if you need to. ⛪️ Read the Bible daily if you need to. 📖 But for certain, make sure you PRAY 🙏🏽whether you want to, need to, or not. Praying is simply talking to God (out loud! 🗣) in the same way you talk to your best friend. 🙇🏽♀️Make God the number one man in your life, and I guarantee you will be OK with another one not quite measuring up. 💅🏽Because he doesn't need to, as no one can compete with God. 🙌🏽 No one can love you the way that God loves you, unconditionally by responding to you with love no matter how ridiculous, rude, or disobedient 😤 you were being, are currently being, and will be until Judgement Day. 👼🏽
So if he says he needs space, or he wants to walk away 🚶🏽, LET HIM!! 🤷🏽♀️ Because you are better off without him, and men do not like to be coerced into anything. It eliminates the chase and turns him off. 🙅🏽♂️
So if you're single like me, take YOURSELF out on Valentine's Day 💃🏽, or sit at home with a nice bottle of wine 🍷 while watching Grey's Anatomy 📺. Why? Because...
You. Are. Enough. ✊🏽😘👸🏾
#HappyValentinesDay #LivingSingle #WCW #MyBlackIsBeautiful
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